Failure???

I am starting to think of myself as a failure. So for all of you that don't know, I am a Sophomore NC State University, studying Civil Engineering. I haven't even gotten past the classes that I should have passed Freshman year. I still have to take Physics II for Engineers and Scientists, and Calculus II. I'm currently in Calculus II right now, but I switched it to credit only, which leads to my next point. I'm taking 12 credit hours and all but 4 of them are for credit only. Meaning I don't get a grade, its just pass or fail. I had to do that so I wouldn't completely fail. This semester I'm taking Calculus II, Spanish I, Marching Band, Handball, Modern American History. Out of those courses I'm taking History and Marching Band as credit. Those are the only ones. All of this to protect my already falling grades. I am on Academic Warning already for the second time, and now I cant sign up for classes until I turn in a form, and after I talk to someone that is just going to ask, "What are you doing to better your grades?" and I will say,"Well, I'm trying to study harder." and they will send me out. I love NC State, I really do. There isnt anywhere else I would rather be. Yes I miss my parents and brother, and yes I miss the town that I grew up in. Also the friends that I had to leave behind. But NC State is a dream for me. I just want to be seen as a peer by my roomates, instead of a guy that is dumb. Not because he doesnt have the capacity for the work, but because he lacks the intellegence, and drive to do his work. I guess all of this makes me feel like Im a failure.

Facing possible SUSPENSION,
TAN

First of all the low down...

Hello readers. Ill give you the low down of what I want this blog to be. I plan on making a post every Friday at some point. The purpose of this blog is to shame myself into making good grades, and making it possible for me to get advice on how to handle situations. So please, no dumb comments, and we are all old enough to use appropriate language.

Thanks so much,
TAN